Denver Discernment Counselor [No Waitlist]
Discernment Counseling
At Birch Psychology, we recognize that some couples find themselves at a crossroads—uncertain whether to continue in their relationship, pursue couples therapy, or consider separation or divorce.
Discernment counseling is a supportive, structured space designed to help partners gain clarity about the direction of their relationship. Rather than focusing on solving relationship problems, this process centers on understanding what has led you to this point, exploring each partner’s perspective, and thoughtfully discerning next steps.
Grounded in empathy, respect, and emotional safety, we walk alongside couples as they slow down, reflect, and make intentional decisions about their future. This process supports couples in thoughtfully discerning whether to continue as they are, commit to couples therapy, or begin exploring a respectful transition or separation.
Meet our Denver discernment therapy specialist
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Peter Tulaney, M.A., M.F.T.
Good fit for couples in crisis who need a calm, experienced guide
I've been working with individuals, couples, and families in crisis since 2007, and I understand that some couples aren't ready to commit to fixing their relationship. My approach to discernment counseling embraces all possible outcomes as equally valid, and I will never push you toward reconciliation. My role is to support highly conflicted or ambivalent couples in gaining the clarity they need to make the decision that feels right for them.
Credentials: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #MFT.0003000
Specialty Areas: Discernment Counseling, Blended Families, Divorce, Adjustment, Marital Counseling, Relationships
What sets our practice apart from other Denver discernment counseling providers
Specialized discernment counseling training: Discernment counseling is a specialized approach that requires specific training, which our therapist has.
No waitlist: Get support when you need it, not months from now.
Diverse clinical expertise: Our therapists draw from diverse clinical backgrounds and lived experiences, so you can find the right fit for your needs.
Individual, couple, and family formats: As a large group practice, we’re equipped to offer support for you as individuals, as a couple, and as a family, if applicable.
Flexible meeting options: We offer in-person sessions at our Denver and Centennial locations, with telehealth options across Colorado
What to expect from the therapy process
Discernment counseling is typically brief and time-limited, often ranging from 1–5 sessions. Sessions are structured to include time together as a couple as well as individual time with the therapist, allowing each partner space to reflect openly and feel heard. The process is designed to help you:
Slow down emotionally charged decision-making
Clarify what has happened in the relationship and how you each arrived here
Better understand your own needs, values, and hopes
Consider next steps with greater intention and care
The goal is not immediate resolution, but increased clarity, reduced reactivity, and more grounded choices about the future of the relationship.
FAQs about discernment counseling
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Discernment counseling is designed for couples in which one or both partners are unsure about continuing the relationship. We often work with partners who are experiencing:
Ongoing ambivalence about staying together or separating
One partner leaning out of the relationship while the other hopes to work on things
Repeated cycles of conflict with little sense of progress
Emotional exhaustion, resentment, or disconnection
A desire for clarity before pursuing couples therapy or making a decision about separation
The need for a more thoughtful, supported process for navigating a possible transition
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Our discernment counselors use a structured, evidence-informed approach to help each partner reflect on the relationship with greater clarity and emotional awareness. While each couple’s process is tailored to their situation, discernment counseling often focuses on:
Clarifying each partner’s perspective on the relationship and current concerns
Understanding how patterns and dynamics have developed over time
Increasing insight into each person’s contributions to relational challenges
Supporting thoughtful, non-reactive decision-making
Exploring three possible paths forward:
commi tting to couples therapy,
choosing separation/divorce, or
deciding to maintain the status quo for the time being
This process is not about persuading either partner to stay or leave, but about creating the conditions for honest reflection and clearer, more grounded decisions.
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Discernment counseling focuses on helping couples decide what direction to take (couples therapy, separation, or maintaining the status quo), rather than working directly on improving the relationship.
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This is exactly the type of situation discernment counseling is designed to support. The process respects both partners’ positions and helps create clarity without pressure.
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Discernment counseling is typically short-term and time-limited, often completed in a small number of sessions rather than ongoing therapy.
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Yes, for couples where one or both partners are uncertain whether the relationship can or should continue, discernment counseling can be highly valuable. It slows down a high-stakes decision, creates space for honest reflection, and often leads to outcomes that both partners feel better about, whatever direction that turns out to be.
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It depends; coverage varies by plan and provider. Birch Psychology is an out-of-network provider and does not bill insurance plans directly, though we can provide you with paperwork to submit to your carrier for potential out-of-network reimbursement. We recommend contacting your insurance provider to understand your benefits.
Start discernment therapy in Denver today
Considering discernment counseling is often a sign that something important is at stake. Our intake team is happy to help you determine whether discernment counseling is the right fit for your situation, answer questions about scheduling, fees, and availability, and connect you with a clinician experienced in this work.