Change: A Psychological Perspective and Guide
Times of transition can be hard, whether it’s a new job, a big move, a new child, a breakup, a new relationship, etc., change is hard to manage. This is because our brains rely on neural pathways that are built up over time. That is how we can get stuck in ruts with thought patterns, and this idea is central to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This can explain why change can be so difficult. Over time, we rely on these neural pathways for our automatic habits, which is why a big change can feel exhausting, because these neural pathways that have been built over time cannot be relied on. Thankfully, our brains also have neuroplasticity, which means the brain is changeable, and new neural pathways (ideas, habits, thought patterns) can be created. So while change is difficult, it can also be liberating, as it can be a good time to break bad habits and form new ones.
What can you do?
Take time to reflect and accept
It can be hard to process things as they are happening, but change gives us a chance to reflect on what things were like before. Be grateful for the good things that happened during that time, and reflect gracefully about your own decisions. In life, things don’t always go the way that we think they will, so treat yourself with compassion if things didn’t quite go to plan. Try journaling your thoughts around the transition, and what you liked and disliked about things before the change. This can also help you accept that a change is happening and help you move forward. It is much easier to dwell in the past instead of looking forward to the future, because the future is abstract while the past is set in stone. Acceptance of past events is hard, and it can be a lifelong journey and goal, so don’t beat yourself up if this is harder said than done. Journaling can be great not only to look back on but also to help shed light on the next idea:
2. Set new goals
After a change is a great time to set new goals. With a new perspective, new goals are easier to make. Make sure these goals are realistic and not overwhelming. Use this time to be a breath of fresh air, your own personal new year, and make goals that will keep you excited and engaged during this time. Maybe you want to keep your living or work space cleaner than you did before, or start doing a healthy habit like going for walks, or try meeting more people. All of this can give you something to look forward to and celebrate.
3. Don’t get discouraged
Change is hard. Things may not feel as easy as they did before, or you may feel more isolated. Stress and emotional reactions to change are completely normal, especially in the short term. It can be easy to let yourself succumb to the feeling, but try to keep an open mind as much as possible. It is a good time to lean on friends and family when possible, maybe call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. If what you are feeling seems abnormal to you or has continued for an extended period of time, you can always seek professional therapeutic and medical services.
4. Maintain routine
It can be overwhelming if a lot changes at once, so try to find a few things you can do daily to maintain a sense of stability. If before this change, you always did a particular thing every day, like read or watch a show, that might be a comfort for you to continue.
5. Practice self-care and healthy habits
Do what you can to regulate yourself. It is hard when things change to fall into new routines, so try to do what you can to give yourself patience. Sleeping eight hours, moving your body, and avoiding drugs and alcohol are all great starts. This will give you a good baseline to be able to take on each day.
6. Take it a day at a time
It’s okay if things are uncertain in periods of transition; they often are. Try not to put extra pressure on yourself to have every detail figured out. Even if you have an extensive plan, unexpected things occur all the time. Being able to deal with nuance and small changes will make it easier to deal with larger ones.
Citations
Fishbane, M. D. (2015, March 17). Why change is so hard: The power of habit in the human brain. Therapy Blog. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/why-change-is-so-hard-the-power-of-habit-in-the-human-brain-0317155
Gill, S. (2021, September 10). The impact of transitions and how to cope with them. The Impact of Transitions and How to Cope with Them : Cruse Scotland. https://www.crusescotland.org.uk/about-us/news-and-blogs/the-impact-of-transitions-and-how-to-cope-with-them/
Morone, L. (2023, December 8). The Psychology of Transitions. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/gaining-and-sustaining/202312/the-psychology-of-transitions
