Keeping up with your Family!
We see our children and spouses daily around our house as we run from activity to activity, but how often do we think about the quality of the time we spend with them? In movies, every family sits down nightly together to enjoy an elaborate dinner at 6pm, and talks altogether. I would imagine that scenario is far less common now, but we likely still see our families around dinnertime at least for a few minutes every day, before returning to our tasks. Do we use the time we have wisely? Do you eat while playing on your phone, watching TV, or while talking with your family about their day?
We may feel as if we don’t have enough time to really talk with our kids or spouse during the week, and that can make us sad. But doing little check ins and spending short amounts of quality time can make such a difference. The conversation may run stale if we only ask the traditional “so how was your day?” Keeping younger kids engaged is hard as well. Below are three dinnertime activities my family always did that I hope you like!
The old standby was always playing the 3-2-1 game at the dinner table growing up. My parents worked long busy jobs, and my brother and I had a lot going on after school, so typically the only time we would all see each other is during dinner for 20 minutes. So, we played 3-2-1. Each person takes a turn talking about 3 happy things about the day, 2 complaints, and 1 thing they are looking forward to about the next day. Family members are welcome to chime in and ask questions about the items others have mentioned and elaborate with their own stories or thoughts. By the time the four of us were done sharing, dinner was over and we had to get back to business. Yet everyday, we at least had a quality conversation that allowed us to hear from everyone, vent our concerns, share about our feelings, and check in. I never felt that my parents didn’t care about my day or activities, and I always felt that we communicated well and enough.
Another fun game we liked to play was 2 truths and a lie. We would do this if we had extra time, or if we got bored of 3-2-1. We would sit around the dinner table, or in the car sometimes if we had to drive somewhere, and each person would take a turn. They would discuss three stories that happened to them that day or week with some detail. 2 would be true stories that actually happened, and 1 would be made up. The other family members had to guess which was which!
Finally, we would sometimes play small trivia games with one another to learn new things together. We had a deck of trivia cards that we would quiz each other on, sometimes keeping score, just to see what everyone else knew and to learn! We would also try to memorize the names of countries, presidents, or state capitals- and see who could remember the most. Buy a game of trivial pursuit to keep handy- having the deck of cards out to go through while eating can be a great new hobby for you.
I often feel like I don’t have enough time to spend with my family, and that I let them down by being overly busy. But my parents taught me well as a child, and I make sure to use up as much time as I do have with as much quality as I can. Sure, this means that I am way behind on my list of TV shows to watch, and I don’t get to keep my social media as up-to-date. But I feel that my time is better spent with the people I love anyways.
Kyndal Sims
Birch Psychology