Holiday Stress!
“Tis the Season to be Jolly,” but for some people, it’s a season for stress.
The hustle and bustle of the holiday season can add an additional layer of stress to an already overworked, overscheduled, overtired person. On top of grocery shopping and meal planning, people are expected to shop for presents for family and friends and plan extravagant holiday meals. There are holiday parties and concerts and parades to attend. There is holiday travel to plan and prepare for. The house needs to be decorated inside and out. All these lists of things to do swirl around in my head along with the incessant holiday songs heard in every store.
Sometimes, it can just become too much.
However, pretending the holidays don’t exist is not an option for me or my family. So how do I manage holiday stress?
For one, I make lists. I make to-do lists, shopping lists, gift idea lists, and simply a list of “Don’t Forgets!” I should probably make a list of my lists. I find that by writing all these things down, it means I don’t have to spend energy trying to remember it all. Not to mention the energy it takes to try to remember something I’d forgotten and the stress that in itself causes! I personally find it more therapeutic to handwrite my lists. It seems to help me get it out of my brain more effectively than by typing it into an app on my phone. However, do whatever method works for you. I keep a notepad by my bedside because trying to go to sleep seems to trigger my brain to suddenly remember more things I should add to my lists. So, yes, I have an “Add to My List” list.
Secondly, I prioritize. I have a job and a family and responsibilities. These are my top priorities and receive attention first. When those areas have been settled, I allot time to focus on the holidays. I set aside a certain amount of time to order presents, do shopping, or decorate. Most importantly, I only allow myself to take care of these tasks for that certain amount of time each day. At which time I force myself to stop and go back to my usual schedule or commitments. Otherwise, I tend to find myself wasting time by second-guessing my decisions, being too picky, and overdoing more than what was necessary. Meanwhile, other obligations start piling up and I become even more stressed because I have too much to do and not enough time to do it. I must tell myself that it’s okay to stop at 4:00 even if the tree is half decorated, because I need to prepare dinner and can work on the tree more tomorrow. It will all become completed eventually. Every gift will be bought and wrapped. Every decoration will be placed. And every tradition prepared for, a little at a time.
Self-care is a new trend, but one worthy of noting. Holidays are about giving and giving, but if we give too much of ourselves, we can become depleted. It is important to not overextend and know when to stop and take care of ourselves. Listen to our bodies. Are we tired? Sore? Cranky? Do we need to eat better? Take a nap? Just relax for a bit? My body frequently tells me to slow down and sometimes to completely stop. That is difficult when there is so much to do. However, I have found that when I have taken better care of myself, I am more efficient afterwards. I can think more clearly, move faster, focus harder, and all with fewer breaks or mistakes. It’s like the rule about putting on your own oxygen mask in an airplane before you help others. If you’re trying to put someone else’s mask on while you’re dizzy and blacking out from lack of oxygen, you are bound to take longer and make mistakes. Take the time to take care of yourself. Eat nutritious foods, drink water, rest, and breathe. You’ll be better in the long run.
Lastly, this perfectionistic reminds herself to lower her standards. Completion is better than perfection. I figure out where to cut corners with decorating, cooking, baking, and even socializing. Santa won’t care if I make cookies from scratch or from a boxed mix. Not all the presents need fancy bows. Attending a holiday party for an hour is acceptable when I’m pressed for time and other commitments. My outdoor decorations may not be as extravagant as my neighbors’, but they’re enough to not fall in the Scrooge category. What’s important is being able to relax and enjoy another holiday celebration with my family regardless of any “coulda, woulda, shouldas.”
Making lists, prioritizing, self-care, and lowering my own expectations are how I make it through this month of December. The holiday will be here whether or not I have everything ready, so I remind myself that it will be however it will be. I try to breathe and sing along with the holiday songs on the radio and maybe even dance a little.
“Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!”
Kyndal Sims
Birch Psychology