The Wonders of Alone Time
The concept of time in solitude may either sound ideal and wonderful to you, or more like a punishment. While some people prefer spending the vast majority of their time in the company of others, they will still find themselves needing to fulfill their natural need of private space and alone time occasionally, and that is a good thing!
Alone time in a private place allows us to experience complete and total silence, gives us absolute freedom of our actions, and allows us to act without fear of judgment or just being watched. We can look how we want to, make the noises we choose, and move around however we please. Alone time in a public space allows us to silently observe others without having to interact, can make experiences such as dining more peaceful, and gives us a great opportunity to clear our minds. For those of us who live with other people, such as family members or roommates, the pandemic has likely completed erased our ability to have any alone time in our house, which can become suffocating over time. Even being in a room by oneself doesn’t fulfill every need of solitude if you are still able to hear others or be heard. The added inability to go participate in activities outside of the home by oneself due to restrictions makes our ability to obtain solitude even more difficult.
Solitary alone time, or alone time where a person is not around other people in any form and is completely isolated, provides the brain and body with the ability to achieve total relaxation and freedom. We naturally change our noises, movements, activities, and more when we are aware of the presence of other people due to our internal perceptions of their judgments of these behaviors. For example, when our children are home we probably don’t run around the house naked or use an abundance of curse words when speaking on the phone. When there are others in earshot, we probably don’t practice our poor karaoke skills or allow our body to make crude noises. We adapt many things about ourselves to fit in around company if we have the feeling of being watched or heard. Alleviating this pressure reduces our stress levels and allows our brains and bodies to release the pressure they hold when socializing, calming us down. This also gives us time to do some reflection.
The benefits of doing activities of any form alone include increasing your productivity, focusing your attention, strengthening your empathy, and encouraging your creativity. Having regular periods of alone time is crucial for self development of all ages. When in the company of others we naturally compromise exactly how we want things done for the ease or benefit of others. Sometimes, we just need to do exactly what we want to do exactly how we want to do it in order to allow our brain to fulfill this need. In addition, when we are given the opportunity to do things entirely alone such as walk in nature, without an animal or a cell phone as a cushion, we allow our brains to heal from traumas or stresses they may be holding in as we focus on nothing but ourselves and our environments, without having to cater to any other needs. If you feel overstimulated, try going outside and walking by yourself for ten minutes- no music, no phone, no company, and nothing to hold onto. Activities like these are designed to make us feel better and give our brain time to think to itself without having other stimuli in need of attention.
Solitude, of course, can only be beneficial if it is an option that we can take, rather than how we spend the majority of our time. In order for the benefits of alone time to be positive, it must be voluntary, you must have positive relationships with other people that you can return to, and you must spend your time doing what makes you feel good. If you have been completely isolated from all others during this pandemic, solitude is actually quite bad for you and can cause unhealthy behaviors without the motivations of performing activities for other people. Without other people in your household, you may neglect cleaning your house or yourself, you may over-eat without fear of judgment, or you may choose to stay in bed all day without feeling like you must get up to greet or please anyone. An abundance of alone time is just as bad as not having enough.
The next time you have the opportunity for alone time, take it. Spend an hour in your house singing as loud as you can to your favorite song. Go watch a movie by yourself and enjoy all of the snacks you want. Cook dinner for yourself exactly how you want it and when, without consideration for others in any way. Little things like these can boost your mood and encourage your self development, so that you are able to be a better support person to those around you when you return to the social world.
Kyndal Sims
Birch Psychology
Resources
https://www.verywellmind.com/the-benefits-of-being-by-yourself-4769939