Why We Need Socialization
Humans are socially dependent pack animals. We are wired to need communication from each other and to depend on one another for help when we need it. Our whole society depends on each person doing their part to make everything run. Some animals prefer to be alone, such as cats or turtles, and they can go their whole lives with limited contact with their own species and do just fine. We operate more similarly to schools of fish, packs of wolves, or flocks of birds- we prefer to group together and take on roles within our group in order to collectively work and survive. We communicate regularly with others, usually between five to fifty people per day depending on occupation or lifestyle. Of course, some people prefer more socialization and contact than others, but we all need some. Some people like to have dozens of friends and work on a daily basis as part of a team interacting with plenty of strangers. Some of us prefer our space and only enjoy the company of our spouse and close family, preferring occupations that allow us to work solo and independently. Regardless, everyone likes socializing with at least a few other people, and we need that for our mental health.
Socializing has been found to decrease the likelihood and progression of dementia significantly. Research has also found that our neurons require other people’s neurons to survive. Think about movies like Castaway, where the main character spends years deserted by himself on an island. His brain goes “crazy”, and it’s a miracle he survives the situation at all with how much brain damage he ends up withstanding. When we interact with others, we turn on parts of our brain that lie dormant when we are alone. These areas help us communicate, read the feelings of others, and create our judgements. They boost our mood and feed our brains, helping them stay in shape and grow. Without socialization, our other brain processes also become at risk. We all need a mix of unfamiliar and familiar people to communicate with regularly in order to turn on each of these brain functions effectively.
Socialization also lowers our stress levels significantly. By focusing on communicating with others in a positive and enjoyable way, our stresses will melt away naturally, and through talking about the stresses with others we may even find ways to prevent them in the future. Having positive relationships and interactions with others also decreases depression and anxiety significantly, leading to an improvement in overall life satisfaction. Our feeling of self worth has a lot to do with how we feel we are perceived by others, so if we engage in friendly relationships where the people around us are kind, our brains internalize these feelings and help us to feel better about ourselves.
COVID caused us to experience levels of isolation that were unprecedented. We went from being around people consistently to being on lockdown at home, and we’re still not back to where we once were. We had to choose to see our family and friends less or through a screen, we likely had our schooling or work moved to home, and all of our activities and trips became cancelled for the year. As a social species, it is no wonder that our mental illness and negative mental health symptom rates have increased during this time- without people to talk to or help us, we suffer.
It is important to acknowledge that each one of us requires a different amount of socialization in order to fulfill the needs of our brain. Some people are more introverted, meaning their brains require less socialization and more alone time. For them, maybe only a couple of hours per day of being around others will suffice, and they may prefer familiar company instead of meeting new people. Too much more time spent socializing or uncomfortable social situations and they become stressed and exhausted from being over-socialized, causing the opposite of the intended effect. Others may feel negative symptoms if they spend more than an hour or so alone per day, as they may thrive on constant communication and become stressed if they do not have frequent and consistent social opportunities. Neither group is healthier or more normal than the other, and it is important to notice that both groups still require both socialization and personal time in order to function healthily.
A lot of what we do focuses on communications between other people. We see what others are doing over social media, turning on the areas of our brain that involve judgment or feeling. We watch characters on TV interact with one another and empathize with them, rooting them on and thinking about their situations. We have work meetings with our coworkers to benefit a whole team of people, mingling with the ideas and needs of others in a structural way. Even when we do not think we are “socializing” we are still having important human interactions, and these will always be necessary to both our society and ourselves. If you are feeling low or feeling like something is missing in your life, try calling a parent, picking up a new group hobby, scheduling an activity with a friend, or going out to dinner with a spouse just to chat. You may be surprised how quickly and easily it can help you!
Kyndal Sims
Birch Psychology
Resources
https://braincheck.com/articles/how-socializing-keeps-brain-healthy/
https://www.asbury.org/blog/why-is-socialization-important-for-brain-health/