Finding a Therapist who is a Good Fit for you
A therapist can have all of the experience, training, and specialty in the world. They could be amazing at their job, well known, and knowledgeable about everything that you need. However, that doesn't always make them a good fit for you.
Sometimes for whatever reason, you may just not click with a therapist due to personality, age, gender, or approach, and that's OK! It is perfectly fine to try meeting with different therapists until you find one that you really like, because that is how you will get the best results from therapy.
As for me, I have tried four different therapists over the course of my life. The first person I tried was, for lack of a better word, awful. I did two sessions with him as a child and he encouraged me a to enter an unsafe situation. Then as a young adult I tried therapy again and the therapist had no sense of humor, which is some thing that I need in a person in order to feel comfortable around them. The third therapist I tried was nice, but she did not provide me any assistance or treatment and preferred to talk more about herself than me. The most recent therapist I tried was helpful, but was only able to work with me on some areas I was needing help with, not all, and so she was unfortunately not a good fit either. Each of these people was licensed and experienced, and was likely very helpful to many other people. Besides the first one, each one was great at their jobs, just not personally a good fit and it was important for me to learn that by meeting with each of them.
Sometimes you may benefit from a certain modality of therapy better than others too, which is something you may learn through trial and error, research, or specific recommendation by another professional who knows you well. We often have clients referred to our practice wanting specific types of therapy for their diagnoses, such as CBT as an example. A persons doctor or psychiatrist me recommend they begin CBT therapy, and then we would match them with a provider trained in CBT therapy to increase the chances of a positive fit. I personally did not benefit from CBT therapy but rather more traditional talk therapy, so that is now some thing I seek out personally in a therapist. Typically, a psychologist will work from a couple of different modalities to treat you based on the diagnoses that you may have, as some are designed to treat specific things. But for whatever reason, sometimes you may personally benefit from one more than another and it is important that you find a therapist able to match that need.
Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the therapist that is right for you. Sometimes it takes a few sessions with a person to understand whether they would be a good fit for you, and it is perfectly okay to end treatment at that time if they are not. After a couple of tries you will find a therapist who you enjoy being around, you feel comfortable sharing information with, who is able to address everything that you need to discuss and treat each problem you have. At that time, you may enter into long-term weekly therapy for a while, or you may enter into irregular sessions with them over time as you go through life transitions for many many years. Every person is different in what they are looking for and needing, and it is okay to be picky.
Here at Birch we currently have 18 clinicians on staff able to address a wide variety of concerns specializing in a variety of treatment modalities. Potential clients come to us daily with requests for therapists able to help with different issues, different age ranges, and different specific orientations. Our matching process involves a consultation. done prior to a meeting with a therapist. During that time, details are collected and questions and preferences are asked. Then, you are given a list of possible matches and options to look through. You can then speak with anyone of them directly or schedule an appointment with one of them based on who you feel would be best. We try to provide as many options as possible rather than just scheduling with who's available. It does not happen often, but if after you begin sessions with one clinician you feel that you may benefit from someone else, that clinician would be able to put you in contact with another one of our therapists without any trouble.
Therapy involves a level of comfort with a person and it is important that you feel that. You will see the best results with a clinician full of experience in the concerns that you have who you enjoy being around as a person. This does not mean that you will think of your therapist as a friend or that you have to be similar to your therapist in order to benefit I'm working with them. But if you have started a therapy a couple of times before and haven't gotten the results that you were wanting, it does not mean that you were doing anything wrong or the therapy itself isn't for you. Chances are, you just need to find another therapist. And there will be plenty out there that can help meet your needs. Feel free to contact our office at anytime and we can discuss the options that we have and see if they are right for you.
Kyndal Sims
Birch Psychology